Lighter Side of Food
This section of the per100.com web site is here simply to cheer you up. A few jokes and some weird facts about food and our eating habits over time. You are invited to contribute your own ideas. They will be warmly welcomed and, if suitable, will be published in this area.
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A woman bumps into an old friend and asks how her new marriage is going. "Not good, I'm afraid", replies the friend. "He never helps around the house, he doesn't wash enough and he eats like a hungry pig. It's putting me off my food."
"Why don't you leave him?" asks her concerned friend.
"Oh I will, but I just want to lose a few more pounds first"
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A man is standing on his bathroom scales, trying very hard to suck in his belly. "That's not going to help", say his wife. "Yes it will," replies the man, "it's the only way I can see the numbers."---o0o--
Patient: Doctor, doctor I've grown a strawberry on my head.
Doctor: Hmmm, you'll need some cream for that?
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Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind with his orders.
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A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
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An elderly couple are killed in a road crash and find themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your luxury apartment with breath taking views from every window, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pools, sauna, massage beds and two of our golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many hostelries located nearby and ask for whatever you want."
As Saint Peter walked off the old man turned to his wife and hissed, "For crying out loud, Madge, we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't kept feeding us all that low fat food and brown rice."
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks for a pint of beer.
"I'm sorry," said the barman, "but we don't serve food in here."
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A waitress brings her customer the Soup of the Day. The customer asks, "What on Earth is this?"
The waitress replies, "It's bean soup, sir."
"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"
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